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Is Extended Breastfeeding a Problem or Solution?
"Time" magazine's new issue explores a trend in attachment parenting, including breastfeeding beyond babyhood, but a pediatrician at Sinai Hospital in Baltimore warns against creating codependencies in both parent and child.
Time magazine has glommed onto a trend called attachment parenting, which includes "extended breastfeeding," when a mother breastfeeds her child past infancy, babyhood, and into toddlerdom and older.
The cover of its May 21 issue features a controversial photo of a mother who has one breast partially exposed as she breastfeeds her toddler. And the cover article focuses on Dr. Bill Sears who, along with his wife, Martha, wrote The Baby Book that has spawned a trend in attachment parenting.
The trend includes co-sleeping and "baby wearing"—wearing your baby on your body in a sling, according to a "Behind the Cover" article by Karen Pickert in Time.
"Some parents subscribe to his theory that attachment parenting ... is the best way to raise confident, secure children," Pickert states in the article. "Others think Sears is an antifeminist tyrant, or that his ideas are just totally unrealistic."
One Baltimore pediatrician says there should be no timetables dictating when breastfeeding or co-sleeping should end.
But he warns against developing codependencies for both the parent and child that could stifle independence and healthy relationships.
Dr. Michael Zollicoffer, a pediatrician at the Herman & Walter Samuelson Children's Hospital at Sinai Hospital said he watches both the parent and child for signs of what he calls the "Linus Blanket Syndrome"—if they depend on each other or on something too much.
"It's a problem when you go through life and you set these kind of codependencies where you are connected to someone in a way that you have no independence in life: You can't ever start things on your own," he said.
Codependency is a problem no matter how you get there, Zollicoffer said. "Whether it's by holding a pacifier, or sitting down with a favorite bottle, or a breast, something that you can't 'let go of'—that's a negative."
While he often recommends breastfeeding for one or two years, and having a child sleeping alone by age 4 or 5, "there is no end point to me, or a timetable," he said. "As a public, we are looking at limits, and that is an error that we make."
Rather, in his practice he looks at each person—the parent as well as the child—to determine whether they are building healthy relationships.
"If you can't turn it off and you are riding off to college with a kid in the back of a stationwagon in a child seat, that is a problem," he said.
What do you think? Should children sleep in bed with their parent and breastfeed into toddlerhood and beyond? Is it a positive or negative that a mother poses for a cover photo with her child breastfeeding? Can attachment parenting go too far, or is it the path to raising a confident, secure child?
Matt M
2:51 pm on Friday, May 11, 2012
Raising a child is a very individual experience. Each child is different; each family is different. The best solution depends on the child and family that that child is a part of. To proscribe just one way to do it is silly and leads to turmoil. In the form of arguments with other parents who are "right" or the form of a difficult parenting experience in trying to force the "right" way to parent on your own family.
HarCoMom
2:54 pm on Friday, May 11, 2012
Time Magazine is simply trying to make money and sell magazines. From the headline to the photo, this is not an accurate and fair representation of the practice of breastfeeding. First, most mothers do not look like this. Second, most mothers do not stand, almost defiantly, while breastfeeding their child. The cover model is just that...a model. Although she is also a mother and a lactation consultant.
The APA (American Pediatric Association) strongly encourages breastfeeding for at least 6 mos and preferably for one year or so.
I suppose I'd rather see Time Magazine talk about the more common type of breastfeeding which lasts for 1-18 months. Mothers should be able to nurse their children in public without being asked to leave or cover up as they often are. Instead, Time Magazine is leaning towards sensationalism.
Susan Kim
3:26 pm on Friday, May 11, 2012
Well said. I don't agree with her putting her son on the cover. How is HE going to feel about this in 5/10/15/etc. years?
John Doe
4:03 pm on Friday, May 11, 2012
Exactly - it makes breastfeeding look "disturbing".
lynda maguire
8:58 am on Saturday, May 12, 2012
This is a well written response and I want to thank the writer for their views. You are correct in your thought! I nursed until my child was 24 months in a foreign county. It is excepted everywhere but the USA. I don't know why we have such a controlling country!!!
Dee
11:38 am on Saturday, May 12, 2012
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breast feeding up to 24 months old. Mother's milk is very healthy for babies. The kid on the cover is not a baby. He is nearly four. Hand him a cup of milk and he will be fine.
Becky D, RN
4:46 pm on Wednesday, May 16, 2012
I couldn't have said it better! Well done! I for one am sick of hearing about extended breastfeeding. It is just what it is, extended past what is recommended. Parenting is about setting limits and boundaries. How backwards to let the child decide. Shame on you TIME for exploiting breastfeeding like this! Breast milk is for babies. NOT children.!
Kelli
3:27 pm on Friday, May 11, 2012
Very much agree with HarCoMom. I think this photo is a poor representation of attachment parenting, and was chosen to be controversial. The one thing I will add-it bugs me that AP is referred to as a trend. It's not. It's normal for many cultures, however America has been made to think that breastfeeding is gross or indecent. Mothers are asked to feed their babies/children in the bathroom so others aren't offended. I don't think any of us would like to have our lunch in a public bathroom...neither would my son. It's somehow ok for women & men to be scantily dressed in Abercrombie ads or a Victoria's Secret window, but when a mom discretely feeds her child it's disturbing.
Chernaiarusskaia
11:17 pm on Friday, May 11, 2012
I agree with HarCoMom and Kelli. I went back to work when both of my children were 6 weeks old. I pumped until 13 months for each and they were exclusively breastmilk fed until 6 months old. I nursed my daughter until she was a little over 2 1/2 and am still nursing my son, who is 19 months old. I wouldn't say that what I do is attachment parenting per se, but we do practice the family bed or co-sleeping and I carried both children in a sling for the 6 weeks before I returned to work and generally after work and weekends. What is viewed as extreme here in the States is perfectly normal around the world.
I also agree that a general article about the low breastfeeding rates in the U.S. (e.g. the percentage of women who initiate breastfeeding vs. those who are still breastfeeding at 6 months and 1 year) would have been more helpful. I also didn't like the tag line. We shouldn't be pitting women against one another due to personal choices. This might as well be the mommy wars--stay at home moms vs. work outside of the home moms. Notice I did not say working moms because whether you stay at home or work outside of the home, all mothers work.
I don't think Time magazine helped the issue at all by sensationalizing the topic.
Gail Norris
3:30 pm on Friday, May 11, 2012
I support any parent's right to do what is right - and works - for their individual family circumstances. What does bother me is the headline "Are you Mom Enough?" - which implies I may not be mom enough because i don't follow the beliefs of those who "attachment parent."
kiki
3:46 pm on Friday, May 11, 2012
Would a parent with an addiction garner as much response as this?
Karl Schuub
3:47 pm on Friday, May 11, 2012
This same woman on the cover breast fed an adopted 5 year old. That woman has issues that have little to do with being a mom. Sorry only a sick freak would nurse a kid that can verbalize they're hungry.
CAW21227
4:56 pm on Friday, May 11, 2012
That kid has TEETH!!! That picture is disgusting
Leigh
10:09 am on Saturday, May 12, 2012
My baby's first tooth came in at 3 months. Should I have stopped nursing her then?
Bart
5:08 pm on Friday, May 11, 2012
Beastfeeding is the healthiest and most natural way to feed a baby, but....this?,,,,Whoa!
Rob
6:26 pm on Friday, May 11, 2012
Looks like child porn to me...
Ashley
8:29 pm on Friday, May 11, 2012
I have no problem with women breastfeeding babies. Babies are mean't to be breastfed, toddlers are not. If the kid has teeth it should be eating solid food. This picture is disgusting.
This video is creepier than this photo though: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxv6R9fUO74
Either way, I feel like if they continue to breastfeed after the kid is a toddler it's not as much for the benefit of the kid (I actually believe it will cause co-dependency) but more for some sick need the mother needs to fulfill in herself.
Sean Tully
8:58 pm on Friday, May 11, 2012
Breast feeding really isn't the issue. Time's cover is. As mentioned above, it is exploiting the issue and trying to sex it up. Breast feeding really isn't that sexy.
Donna
10:27 pm on Friday, May 11, 2012
I feel so sorry for this boy. He'll probably run away, dye his hair, and change his name first chance he gets. Can't say I blame him if he does.
LadyStamper
11:04 pm on Friday, May 11, 2012
The media wants us as parents to argue over the "right" way to raise kids. No one way is right and to ask if you are "mom enough" is an insult. Just like sahm vs working moms, tiger vs smother moms - we're all just figuring it out as we go and hope for the best. My best isn't the same as your best so lets just stop comparing ourselves.
Get Real
12:15 am on Saturday, May 12, 2012
This is sick and disturbing on so many levels, it is borderline child abuse.
Kirstin Brzezinski
5:35 am on Saturday, May 12, 2012
I am an advocate of "extended breastfeeding" and "attachment parenting". Apparently, I have practiced them but never really adhered to those terms myself. I have breastfed all 7 of my children to varying ages, depending on the individual child. Most nursed longer than one year but none over age 2. I do have friends who breastfed children age 3 and 4. I don't have a problem with that. Although, I do have a problem with this photo because it is ridiculous and stupid. It's simply not realistic. No one does it that way! This photo was intended to be shocking and portray extended breastfeeding to the extreme. It portrays it as sexual, inappropriate and even, fanatical.. This will not help advocate breastfeeding to a large segment of the American population who are already uncomfortable with the practice. I am very disappointed to say the least. TIME magazine, YOU SUCK!!!
Alicia
6:13 am on Saturday, May 12, 2012
Anyone who thinks "real life" breastfeeding is somehow sexual or inappropriate has their own issues they need to get over. And furthermore whose business is it how long a mother chooses to nurse her child? There are so many atrocities going on in the world today and this is what people chose to get upset about?
Kirstin Brzezinski
6:30 pm on Saturday, May 12, 2012
That may be so, Alicia, but the sad truth is that most people in American society view the female breasts as sexual. I am not saying that they should. I certainly do not, but it is obvious that this photo incites sexual thoughts when people are commenting that it is child porn! That is ridiculous and disgusting but it is the way our society is conditioned to view the female breasts. Please don't misunderstand me, I have breastfed 7 children, so I know what breasts are for! I only meant to say that his type of photo exasperates the misconception that so many people have of of the purpose of breasts . It is not prtraying breastfeeding as nurturing at all. Look at the mother's stance and the child's as well. There is something very odd about them, aside from what they are doing. It is not typical or characteristic of "real life" breastfeeding! I speak from experience. If TIME had chosen a more nurturing looking photo where the mother and child involved didn't appear so ridiculous, maybe the reaction would have been different. Maybe not. Anyway, I do believe it was only meant to shock and sell magazines. TIME should be focusing on more important issues. But of course, I see phhotos and articles like this as a tactic the media has of distracting people from what is really happening in the world. That's why.... they suck.
Pamela
7:08 am on Saturday, May 12, 2012
This picture is very disturbing and disgusting. This child looks older than a toddler! I think mothers that breastfeed their children beyond the baby stage have issues themselves.
Take Responsibility!
7:23 am on Saturday, May 12, 2012
I'm 45 and I still breast feed...
franking
7:25 am on Saturday, May 12, 2012
The photo is supposed to be controversial, so they used an older child who looks older than he is, but I can't understand why it's accused of being sexual. Is that just because the woman isn't large and matronly "earth mom" looking or just because there is a breast involved?
Very few speak out in offense by the constant covers showing unrealistic touched up pictures of women with their breasts falling out of sexy clothing. We're so used to seeing breasts being exposed in their sexual context that we accept the prurient and reject their natural purpose, and apply something dirty to it. It would be like expecting women not to be seen walking on their feet, lest they tempt men with foot fetishes.
Dave Williams
9:06 am on Saturday, May 12, 2012
Have any of you seen the comedy, "Grown ups" ? It has a women in it that does just this. Hey,, in Eroupe theve have done this forever,,, they let kids sleep with them till 9 or 10. So one could say its not bad,,, Eroupe doesn't have our social ills,, or near the child killings,, especially child on child.
Bart
10:49 am on Saturday, May 12, 2012
Good point!
Kristina
9:13 am on Saturday, May 12, 2012
I say to each his own. You have to do what is right for your family and child. Being a parent and raising a child does not come with a "how to manual". I think the picture is disturbing, but probably not an accurate way of how she nurses her child. As parents, we need to stick together and focus on raising kind, caring, and productive kids.
Sandra Conway
9:48 am on Saturday, May 12, 2012
Time Magazine did exactly what they intended to do... Stir up controversy. If my daughter wouldnt have self weaned at 14 months, id have breastfed 2-3 yrs. Breastfeeding is a beautiful thing to a mother, the connection you get with your child is amazing. The kid in the pic is a bit old.... But really, TO EACH THEIR OWN. The cover portraying bf'ing is silly, but again, it got Time what they wanted- SALES & MORE CONTROVERSY.
Gloria Dietz
11:59 am on Saturday, May 12, 2012
I breastfed my 'baby' not my toddler/young boy. I think it is a bit much. It does look awful
RARE MARYLAND INDEPENDENT
12:08 pm on Saturday, May 12, 2012
Two comments.
The magazine could have tried to do a piece on the economy, etc. and highlight how we got here and the Democratic and Republican proposals to get us out of our problems. That would take brains by the magazine. Unfortunately, the libs running the magazine can't do this because their advanced degrees are in such challenging majors such as American Studies and Political Science. They will get their day of fame and then go back to decreasing readership.
Second - looks like the boy is on a strict breast milk and Papa Johns diet. How is that healthy?
Ali Borkowicz
2:39 pm on Saturday, May 12, 2012
Time Magazine is doing 2 things. First, they are trying to sell magazines. How many people would walk past this article and not make a comment. Not many. People would pick up the magazine and begin to read it. The second thing they are doing is giving information. They are giving readers the positive and negatives of the situation. Everyone has their own opinions on how long they want to breastfeed their children for. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's not for anyone to criticize.
Resident
7:49 am on Sunday, May 13, 2012
Ours is quite literally THE ONLY CULTURE ON PLANET EARTH that has a problem with breastfeeding past infancy. It is the norm to breastfeed in many countries/cultures to 4. 5, 6 years old. Sexualizing breastfeeding or thinking it is "inappropriate" for a certain age that is well within the norm anywhere else on the planet is a sad representation of the strange and disturbing relationship Americans have with their own bodies and with sex. I find some of the comments on here pretty terrifying. The ones with the real issues are those who CHOOSE to see sex or disgust over nature and nurture. Pretty sick.
RARE MARYLAND INDEPENDENT
12:03 pm on Sunday, May 13, 2012
Resident - what cultures? Do you mean third world cultures?
The libs may want to - but I don't believe Americans want to become a third world country.
Let's give back running water and electricity also.
Paul Amirault
1:11 pm on Sunday, May 13, 2012
RMI, please stop the "libs"stuff, it is old. That said;
American Academy of Family Physicians: “Breastfeeding beyond the first year offers considerable benefits to both mother and child, and should continue as long as mutually desired. If the child is younger than two years of age, the child is at increased risk of illness if weaned.”
American Academy of Pediatrics: “It is recommended that breastfeeding continue for at least 12 months, and thereafter for as long as mutually desired
World Health Organization: “two years of age or beyond”
http://www.who.int/nut/documents/gs_infant_feeding_text_eng.pdf
That said, the article was sensationalism. When all you know is what lives in your little pond, you incorrectly assume all little ponds are alike.
RARE MARYLAND INDEPENDENT
3:48 pm on Sunday, May 13, 2012
Paul:
Sorry - I meant Progressives.
Suzanne
10:28 am on Sunday, May 13, 2012
That's deplorable that they put this on the cover of the magazine! My daughter "weaned" herself at age 9 months.
H.R. Pufnstuf
3:18 pm on Sunday, May 13, 2012
This woman is unrealistically attractive for a mom. Rarely do you see American moms that have held up that well.
sun lover
5:15 pm on Sunday, May 13, 2012
LEIGH, if your 3 month old could stand on a step stool to feed and could tell you what he wanted to eat, then yes!! that's time to stop....just my opinion
Leigh
5:56 pm on Sunday, May 13, 2012
So you apparently have trouble with a woman breastfeeding a child who can stand on a step stool and indicate hunger. I've known 9 mos olds who could do that. So when is the magical time a woman must stop nursing? 3 mos to avoid teeth? 9 mos to avoid a child being able to stand? Most importantly, how are these skills related to a child not needing to breastfeed?
Elizabeth Janney
7:22 pm on Sunday, May 13, 2012
We've deleted some comments that were attacks on other users. Please stay on topic.
sun lover
8:18 pm on Sunday, May 13, 2012
Leigh. What people do in their own homes is their own business. But seriously, why put on a magazine like that? like someone else said, what is the boy going to think when he gets to his teens?...assuming he's done breast feeding by then.
S Walsh
10:38 am on Monday, May 14, 2012
People fail to realize the health benefits for both mother and child. The longer a mother breastfeeds, the lower her risk for developing breast cancer. Also, the mother's body continues to make antibodies that help the child fight illness. My daughter is almost 19 months old, and we are still nursing at night. She has had a total of 3 colds and they were minor sniffles. She has never had a fever or infection and has never been on antibiotics.
Aaron from Baltimore
9:00 am on Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Must be nice having this kind of time to kill!