Blog: Another Example of a Octogernarian Gone Wild

Unfortunately, that’s how I’d have to classify Clint Eastwood’s performance at the RNC last week, in which he came across more like someone auditioning for a bit part in a local dinner theater than as the iconic movie actor/director speaking to a worldwide audience on Romney’s behalf.

Or as one twitterer put it less delicately, he was more like somebody’s “drunk Uncle Harry,” instead of as the polished, highly acclaimed actor in his signature movies, “Dirty Harry.”

But he’s not alone in being miscast for the role he was asked to play by Romney’s spin doctors, any more than were: Kevin Costner, as Robin Hood in the 1991 movie ”Prince of Thieves,” who despite living in the forest during all kinds of weather always looked perfectly groomed and his deerskin outfit spotless; John Wayne, as Genghis Kahn in the 1956 movie “The Conqueror,” who didn’t have the slightest tinge of yellow on his face or eyes taped to make them look squinted; and Chuck Connors in the 1962 movie “Geronimo.” in which he looked more like a longhaired quarterback about to make a touchdown with his lily-white skin and piercing blue eyes.   

Now, usually, when you hit your 80′s, you’re looking to put your affairs in order, in deciding who’s in or out of your will, who to send farewell as well as hate letters, and in making peace with your God before you slip quietly into the dark, dark night.

Some in that age bracket, however, would never admit (even to themselves) of the toll those mounting years has taken on their physical well-being and mental faculties. And who’d never call it quits until the last drop of their testosterone was gone.

Celebrities, like the following, have said that their advanced age didn’t inhibited their ability to satisfy a woman’s every need one bit (albeit lacking confirmation from them as to their sexual powers): Tony Bennett, married for the third time at 81…Pablo Picasso, married for second time at 80…Hugh Hefner, who would have been 85, if his bride-to-be hadn’t dumped him before what would be his third time stumbling down the aisle..Tony Randall, who at 80 became a father for the second time by his third wife.

Now, by my being only one year behind Clint at 81, I’m hardly in a position  to judge his uncharacteristic behavior objectively. Though there’s no doubt that he should have gotten the “hook,” shortly after he started speaking, like performers who failed miserably in vaudeville acts did, what with the manager of the house extending a long pole from the wings with a curved hook on the end. 

And while he has clearly shown, that like with most of my heroes he has “feet of clay,” his statue still hasn’t crumbled or falling off the pedestal his devoted admirers placed him on decades ago. But without the once solid feet no longer there to keep it standing firmly in an upright position, its leaning precariously close to the edge. 

But I’m sure that one-man, crime stopper will, before his hourglass runs out, be able to restore his slightly tarnished image, and allowed to retain his status as a charter member of Hollywood’s elite macho-actors club, founded by the equally adept with his rifle, John Wayne, as he is with his 357 Magnum, firing dum-dum bullets.

Now it’s time to see if anyone speaking at the DNC comes close to matching his rambling, disjointed pretense of a speech, and the theatrics he employed by addressing an “invisible” President Obama sitting in a chair. (Upon hearing of it, Bob Newhart, comic and actor, responded: “My lawyers and I are drafting a lawsuit for stealing his signature one-way conversation routines.")

If he could do it all over again, he could have avoided the personal attacks by his peers and politicians within both parties, by simply asking the same rhetorical question that former Vice Admiral James E. Stockdale, running mate of Independent candidate Ross Perot in 1994, asked of the audience in his opening statement-during the Vice President debate with Al Gore and Dan Quale-”Why am I here?"  

And the response was sustained, waves of laughter, not one of derision but out of appreciation for his honesty and self-deprecating humor.

But how could they react any differently, given that he was the most highly decorated Naval officer in U.S. history-recipient of the Medal of Honor, a Silver Star and Purple Hearts. And perhaps his major accomplishment being the leadership role he played in the POW camps for over seven years. 

Sort of makes the ongoing political wars seem of lesser importance, doesn’t it?