Blog: Opening the Floodgates on Same-Sex Marriage Debate

Gee whiz! Never thought I’d see the day, nor I’m sure did the editor, when an article could open the floodgates to the torrent of comments that engulfed Patch for days on end, passing the 100 mark with ease.

Nor, did I ever think such a social issue as that, along with abortion and contraception, would take center stage in the country’s political discussions. 

And no doubt, even Commissioner Frazier, the prime mover for the Board’s  proclamation declaring Feb. 7-14 as “Marriage Week” was taken back by the outpouring of largely negative public comments. Even comments that far surpassed the public giving a “thumbs-down” for her open defiance of man-made laws by flouting the ruling by the U.S. Supreme Court against invoking the name of a specific deity in prayers offered in public buildings.

That gave me a chuckle at the time. For she apparently believes, as that Hebrew National brand of hot dogs advertises, “we answer to a higher authority.”    

And to say, as she did in her speech during that open meeting, that “the healthier, safer, most successful road for children is to be raised by one man and one woman,” borders on the absurd and a non sequitur flying in the face of reality.

I base that on a groundbreaking study conducted by researchers at the University of Virginia and George Washington University, who found  “that children adopted (or thru a surrogate) by gay couples develop just as well as those raised by heterosexual couples, contrary to the deeply entrenched beliefs that children need one male and one female parent for optimal development.”

And any doubts I had on that score were removed by my own observations years ago, when, for instance, my former lesbian sister-in-law and her partner adopted two children at the tender age of 6 and 8, with the boy growing up to become a surgeon at a top-notch hospital, and the girl a corporate lawyer for a Fortune 500  company. Both of whom credited their parents and success in life to their upbringing in a loving home.

Plus, my watching that documentary in 2006 based on Rosie O’Donnell’s cruise for gay families-the first-ever such venture-convinced me all the more that children in same-sex marriages were as joyful, well-adjusted and raised with the same loving care as any other kids. 

As O’Donnell said, “maybe people will get a chance to see what they’re afraid of, and dispel the illusion that with gays it’s all about sex, when it’s our role as parents that united us on this cruise.”

And don’t tell me, that the 1.7 million kids-according to a 2006 federal study, who call the streets home every year, as well as the 754,00, who as reported by the National Child Abuse and Neglect data system were victims of child maltreatment in 2010-wouldn’t be much better off in living with, yes, gay couples who were willing and able to provide them with an opportunity for a better and more productive life.

Simply stated, the whole issue of gay marriage, with or without children, may be best summed up in my father’s words of wisdom passed on to me:”To live and let live.”

Happy Valentine’s Day to you love birds out there. And keep giving your kids all the love you can, hard to do as it may be at times.