PFLAG Hosts Valentine’s Dance

WESTMINSTER - On Sunday, February 16, PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) of Westminster and Carroll County held its third annual Valentine’s Day dance at St. Paul’s United Church of Christ on Bond Street in Westminster. The low-lit room where the dance was held was decorated with red tablecloth, heart shaped balloons, and red confetti. In the front on the stage, the two nephews of the Vice President Joy Fischer provided the music for the occasion, and they noted that this dance was “definitely the most people” of the past three annual dances.

            “Our aunt asked us to do it the first year. We come back every year,” said Danny Ledford, one of deejays, “we’re not professionals, and they give us a little money, but we do it because its fun.” He and his cousin played songs from his laptop by popular artists such as Lorde, Awolnation, and, symbolically, Katy Perry’s edgy 2008 hit, “I Kissed a Girl.”

            “They really like line-dances,” added his cousin Jamie Fischer, sitting next to Ledford, “things like cha-cha slide and cupid shuffle.”

            The aunt of the deejays, Joy Fischer, is openly gay and is involved in PFLAG as the Vice President of the Steering Committee. During the dance she was walking around the dancefloor holding a signed poster of Brendon Ayanadejo, the former Ravens player who came to McDaniel College recently to speak on behalf of the NO H8 campain.

            “There’s almost twice as many [people in attendance] as last year,” said Fischer, “I’m very happy, each year we get bigger. We’re trying to give people a place for people to come and know that everybody is the same.”

            Over the course of the dance there were opportunities to participate in events such as line dancing, a cake walk (where the winner literally takes the cake), and of course, the raffle to win the autographed poster.

            Natalie Stefanelli, president of McDaniel Allies, who was present at the dance, and who was instrumental in obtaining the autographed edition of the poster, noted, “dance moves are better this year,” alongside increased attendance. Allies secretary Emily Sanders, sitting next to her, agreed. Toward the end of the dance, it was announced that Sanders had just celebrated a birthday, and those in attendance took the cue to sing happy birthday to Sanders, who stood blushing in the front of the room.

            June Horner, whose son came out to her as gay in 1984, has been a member of PFLAG in Baltimore and Colombia as well as Westminster. She wielded a large digital camera, walking around the dance floor snapping pictures to post on Facebook. “If folks like [the pictures], they can tag themselves or do whatever they do,” she said. When asked about how she thought the dance was going, she reported that she was “delighted.” Her eyes became big and her voice turned emotional as she added, “this is so amazing to see how things have changed. In 1984 I would’ve never imagined in my wildest dreams imagined that my son would be a first-class citizen. This is a sea-change.”

            Indeed, while the state of marriage remains a hot political topic across the country, and as gay rights remain an important global issue, most of the PPLAG members present noted that they saw no form of “nastiness” or objection to PFLAG’s presence in the Westminster community.

            “Before my son came out to me,” Horner said, “I had these judgments about the gay community being unclean and irresponsible and unorganized, which were judgments that came from the community. Once my son came out, I saw that this wasn’t the case…gay people are our family, and I’m proud to say my son can marry and call himself a first-class citizen instead of a second rate one.”

            Horner has been involved in several community chapters since her son came out to her in 1984. She maintained that PFLAG has done wonders for the community, and that seeing marriage equality in her lifetime was “the happiest moment of her life.”

            Other parents agreed that PFLAG was a “godsend” and provided support in times when there was nowhere else in the community to go for LGBT issues.

            While the dance served as a relaxing social venue for parents, friends, allies, and LGBT community members alike, some of the youth in attendance noted that the dance was actually a safe-haven, and that attending a school dance with a same-sex partner would be impossible or “just a bad idea.”

            Mattie, a teenage girl who had brought a same-sex date, claimed that bullying and even violent acts were common in the halls of Francis Scott Key High School. She noted, “Here it’s totally cool [to be with a same-sex partner], but at school I get called names and pushed down the stairs.”

            Her date, Katherine, who is pansexual (which means to be associated with all sexual orientations, regardless of gender), also said that she experienced bullying at school. “I get called dyke about eight times a day,” she said.

            Other youth agreed that the dance was “a good idea,” and allowed them to relax and have fun while not worrying about bullying.

            Lucy Bradey, the pastor at St. Paul’s, said that she was proud that the Church could host the dance for people like Mattie and Katherine.

            “We love having it here,” she said, “our church has always been and open and affirming one…our ancestors never walked into the future backwards.” Bradey asserted that the church had historically embraced women, blacks, and LGBT people in times where sexism, racism, and homophobia were prominent in the community.

            “We’re passionate about being accessible,” she said, “regardless of physical ability, gender, or anything else that might make you different.”

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For more information on Westminster PFLAG, visit http://www.pflagwcc.org/